


Stuck Under (An UnderStuck Fanfiction)

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Albino Dave, Bad Puns, Burn Wounds, Burns, Canon-Typical Violence, Comedy, Crack Crossover, Dave is a kid, Dave uses he/him, Death puns, F/F, F/M, Gen, Graphic Description, I Don't Even Know, Im almost sorry??, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It's Kinda Gross, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Multi, Or they/them, Skeletons, Species Swap, True Pacifist, Understuck, Undertale Homestuck, blisters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5739244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A take on the crossover "Understuck," In which the child Dave finds himself underground, in a world of talking flowers and hot goat moms. Hilarity ensues, as well as friendships, dates, repressed feelings, and happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The fall wasn't fun, the kid knew that much. He thought for sure that his shades were going to be broken, or maybe even his bones, but when he landed, he didn't become a pancake on the ground below- his fall was cushioned nicely on a conveniently placed bed of flowers. Talk about lucky.

How'd the kid even get down there, anyways? All he remembers was trekking up Mt.Ebott, for reasons undisclosed, and the next thing he knew, he slipped on a branch or a root, tumbling down the mountain a bit, his body flailing far to the right, off the trail. He was cast into a rather large hole, tumbling head over heels, landing on his stomach.

Picking himself up, (and ignoring the searing pain in his left ankle, the feeling of the drop in the pit of his stomach, and the aches everywhere else,) the small boy adjusted his tinted glasses, wrinkling his nose at the dust and filth that settled down here, and stood. He needed to find a way home. He needed to get out of this pit in the ground!

Looking up, he noted instantly that there was no way to get up from his current location. No biggie- he'd find another opening, near the bottom of the mountain, or maybe he'd pile up a lot of small rocks to get up to that impossibly tall opening to the surface. It was so far away.

The boy decided to explore for a bit, turning away from the opening and picking a random direction to walk in. For a hole underground, the place seemed rather stylish. An arched doorway seemed to lie just ahead, and even passing through it made the child feel important. He walked along the hard, packed earth, until he reached a small patch of grass

Normally, he'd, you know, simply walk over the grass. Grass isn't an uncommon thing, after all. But there wasn't just grass. A small flower popped out of the green turf, with bright red petals and green stamens with a red swirl pattern in the middle that made the kid smile. "Hey, you. Fleshy pink human!" The boy jumped, but quickly regained his trademark composure that surpassed his years. "Huh?" "Hey, you. The name's Caliborn, and don't forget it, you odd human primate!" The flower spat out, causing the kid to snort. "Cool." The flower seemed taken aback, about as back as a flower can be taken, anyways. Then, it seemed to sneer. "You obviously don't know what's going on down here," it growled.

He was not threatened. It was just a flower, what can a flower do? "I don't," he agreed with the red-petaled 'menace,' a stoical smirk on his pudgy face. "I know that you don't! But that's not the point here. The point here is that you don't understand about your soul," it taunted, causing Dave to shrug. "Getting philosophical, heh." "No! No no no! You don't understand how to fight down here! If you don't fight, you'll die!" The flower thrashed about, seemingly frustrated with the boy's demeanor.

"Fine. Teach me." He sat down, in front of the flower, his legs in front of him. "Fine. See that?" The flower motioned towards his chest. The boy instantly darted down, placing his hands near his heart. A bright red pulsed through his shirt, about the size of the human's tiny hand, if it were extended. "That's your soul. The very culmination of your pathetic being." "Oh. Cool." The red died down slowly.

"Alright, so, down here," Three blunt, short, white objects slowly materialized, seemingly out of nowhere. "Friendliness pellets are these things. It's how we show how much we grossly love each other and all that mushy stuff. So, I'm gonna hurl these at you, human. Run into them." "Sure. If it makes you happy, Caliborn."

With a grunt, Caliborn flung the 'Friendliness pellets' at the kid, who simply did not move, and let the pellets graze his body. Instantly, he doubled over in pain, and his soul pulsing various shades of red, as if struggling in the confines of the boy's body. Oddly enough, he did not expect to be betrayed by the rather rude flower. "Friendliness hurts..." He muttered, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"That's the point, kid!" The flower cackled with glee. "You idiot human! In this world, it's kill or be killed, didn't you know?" His laughter rang out, attracting the attention of one particular monster, living in these Ruins....

"Die," The flower commanded, circling Dave in a prison of bullets, with nowhere to go.

 


	2. Goat Mom's Pretty Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave thinks goat mom's pretty cute. No, hot is the right word for it.

The boy ducked, grabbing a stick from the ground, the one he'd used to... assist his 'hiking,' as if to bat away the hovering dots. He didn't know what else to do. The bullets that caused him so much pain closed in on him ever so slowly, and the flower laughed with unbridled glee. He decided to face death head on.

He was sure it would hurt, but before the pellets came within a foot of him, they flickered and died down as something caught Caliborn's attention. It was a small ball of blue fire, with a dark blue core, like molten energy, hot to the touch. The ball came into contact with the flower, which shot back into the floor, presumably to lick his wounds. Proverbially, of course.

The boy took deep breaths. Four in, four out, just like he taught himself. He was beginning to calm down, when a very tall monster came into view. He knew about monsters of course- it was part of the lore of his town. He didn't, however, expect that monsters could be so tall, or scary. His breaths quickened again.

In front of him was a cow monster. Or was that a goat? Whatever it was, it was standing on it's hind legs (he guessed,) and it was tall. It's fur was tinted blue lightly, and it had blue eyes and a black nose, and floppy ears. It's face seemed to be pulled into a concerned expression. "Oh, what a terrible creature! Who'd pick on such a little kid?" The creature shook it's head, and with it, it's floppy ears, stooping down to be eye-level with the boy.

"Cool. Thanks, uh-" Now, the boy will admit to stumbling over his words, a little. "Thanks, mom. Goat mom? Hot mom. Wow, uh, I'm going to go now," He backed away a bit, startled by the appearance of such a seemingly kind monster down here, and he got a little flustered. He made finger pistols and continued to back away, until he tripped on a small rock. Luckily, the goat monster was there, helping him back up with a laugh. "Honestly," She had a bit of a Southern accent.

"Please, you can call me Jane, little one. What is your name?" The kid told her, and she nodded. "That's a very nice name. Here, come with me, alright? I don't want you to die down here." The monster held out her hand, er, well, paw? Something of the sort, anyways. The human held out his, too, but hesitated. "Uh. You're not gonna try and, you know, murder me like Sunshine over there did, right?" He gestured with his head to the patch of grass.

Again, Jane laughed. "Of course not! Here, let me show you the ruins." She took the kid's hand, leading him from the dark room to the more brighter ones adjacent. Piles of leaves, gathered and strewn about from the surface above, littered the cozy purple tiles of the Ruins. They varied in colors, and the boy would drive his heels in the ground in an attempt to stop Jane moving, to observe the shades of red and brown and orange. This amused the motherly monster very much.

"See, child, there are a lot of puzzles in the Ruins." Jane let go of the boy's hand for but a second, to walk across a few tiles and flip a switch, beckoning the boy to the next room. He walked ahead, deeming this place perfectly cool. There were traps galore, and although he wasn't really adventurous in nature, the place was pretty neat. He broke into a sprint, crossing a few tiny bridges and flipping a labelled switch.

"Oh! You're clever, aren't you!" Jane gushed a bit, and the human put a hand on his hip. "It's not that hard, mom. You even put words there. I know what's up. You want me to flip the switch." He then walked on ahead, a little smile on his face. He did feel clever.

This new room held a dummy in the center of it. The dummy wore red and blue glasses, with a wired black frame. The boy took off his glasses, doing an exchange with the dummy's. The world now looked in 3D. Well, not really. The world now had a red/blue filter over it. The world's already 3D, after all.

Jane finally caught up with the fast-paced child, exhaling heavily. Dave instantly took off those dorky glasses, replacing them with his cool ones and shoving the others in his back pocket for safe-keeping. Always good to have extras. He didn't want anyone to see his eyes and think he was a freak or a monster or anything. How ironic, the monsters thinking he was a monster. Anyways, he could barely see without his glasses! They were prescription, after all. Just tinted.

"Don't run ahead, child. You could get into another fight and then what would you do?" Jane offered a smile and ruffled Dave's platinum-blonde hair. It wasn't always this color, as indicated by the dirty-blonde tips, but even at his young age, the color was fading fast. The roots of his hair were almost a snowy-white.

"Relax, I'll just beat them up." To demonstrate, he jokingly punched the dummy in front of him. Jane reached forwards and gingerly took hold of his wrist. "No no no. This dummy ain't for fighting, child. This dummy's for talking. See, you talk to the dummy, and you wait for time, and then I'll help you. We don't to hurt anyone." The child thought back to when the flower hurt his soul, and when he fell down the mountain. Those things hurt, a lot. 

"Yeah, fine, okay. We don't have to fight, then." He shrugged, before looking at the dummy. "So, uh, how are you? I'm doin' great, actually. Uh. My leg kinda hurts, so I'm not perfect, but, uh, I met a pretty hot goatmom. So I'm decent." For a fourth-grader, he had a pretty big vocabulary. "Yeah, so.." He looked up, at Jane. "That's splendid! Just do that, and you'll be fine." She seemed to be ignoring the child's 'hot mom' comments, but really, she was concealing a smile. How cute. A bit odd, but cute nonetheless.

"Alright, sweet. I'll go on ahead, then, since you'll just be catching up. That cool?" He gave a thumbs up. "Not yet!" Jane seemed rather exasperated. "There's a room nearby that I am not sure you are ready for, despite your...bravery." The boy took her hand again. "Alright, lead the way." He was doing very well for a boy lost in the depths of a monster-infested cavern.

Jane led him across a spike-filled cavern, and the boy made sure to step in the _exact_ same spaces as she did. He didn't want to get a hole in his cool new converse! They were a dark pink, with red laces, and they weren't heavy on his feet, like his old shoes. He thought they were cool.

He let go of Jane's hand, and crossed his arms. "Alright, lil' one," She didn't enunciate her 't's' very well, "I'm going to walk ahead, alright? I want you to walk this room yourself. You'll do fine." And with that, she was gone, walking ahead of the small child.

The room was long. At least half of a mile long. The boy's feet began to get tired, but he stuck to the lavender trail. His eyes finally adjusted to the odd lighting of the underground, and he was grateful. The light wasn't as hard on his skin, or his eyes. He almost didn't need his sunglasses. The boy was wearing a dark red overall set, with a black, dense shirt underneath it. He had a small cut on his shin, and he was limping lightly- his ankle stung from tripping. But he'd gone through worse, and he could tough it out.

He finally, finally, reached the end of the room. Jane clapped and praised the small boy, who felt great, but tired. "Mom. Mom, pick me up." He held up his arms. Jane pat his hair affectionately again, but sighed. "I'm sorry, my child, but I must  go ahead and make preparations. I didn't know I'd be having a guest, so I'll have to bake you something!" Her tone became a lot more energetic- she loved to bake.

"Aw." The boy's shoulders slumped. "I won't be gone long, child, just wait here, alright? Do not move from this room, and rest. Here, if anything happens," Jane  handed him a cellular device. Honestly, he'd be more than happy to simply rest there, but although he was exhausted, the boy wasn't ready to stop exploring. 

Jane left, and the child sat down on the floor, revolving his hurting ankle in slow circles. That was going to be sore tomorrow, as will the rest of his small stature. After a few minutes, he stood again, prepared to explore the rest of the Ruins. With a deep breath, he left the room by himself, preparing to brave the world of monsters alone.

And he wasn't going to hurt anyone.

He wouldn't admit it, but fights weren't cool. He knew that. And he was going to prove it to himself, and to two someones who didn't seem to know that..


	3. Here Comes Eriblook...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave runs into a cute little ghost called Eriblook.

Exiting the room slowly, the boy moved slowly, on his tiptoes, like some sort of super secret cool ninja, which he, of course, thought himself to be. He tried not to make any noise at all. What if that awful flower was still around? As he turned the corner, he saw nothing. Instantly, he relaxed; maybe all monsters were as chill as Jane. Instantly, he was proven wrong.

A small, frog-like creature hopped up to the boy, who froze instantly. It blinked. He blinked. As if sensing the movement of the boy, the frog jumped at him. He ducked down, and grinned. "Leap frog, huh." Weeks of 'training' with his Bro had sharpened the boy's reflexes, and this frog wasn't even a challenge. His reflex was to extend his leg while the frog was in midair, and give it a swift kick right in the soul.

But he held himself back.

"Hey, you're a cool frog. Can we be friends?" The boy ducked again as the frog leaped at him, facing the child at his statement, giving a small croak. The child hesitantly gave the frog a thumbs up, and then shrugged. The amphibian seemed to have ceased it's attacks, and hopped away.

The child felt a little braver.

He continued on, exploring as much of the Ruins that he could. "Ooh, a bowl of candy. 'Take one,' huh?" The boy took one piece of candy, and put it in his pocket. He thought of taking two, but he decided that frogs needed candy just as much as he did. Besides, it would be more cool to do what the sign says, even in the face of his hunger.

The boy continued on his way, passing monsters, playing in leaves, and resisting the urge to eat his candy. That paid off- He later met a monster who gave him a healthy meal and sent him on his way. He now came across a rather interesting monster, who nestled himself in a pile of leaves, and seemed to be sleeping. The child moved closer, creeping up silently, again like a ninja. He didn't want to wake the monster.

On closer inspection, it seemed the creature was simply saying 'Z' over and over again, pretending to sleep. his eyes were shut tight, but now he opened one, glancing up at the smirking human, and closed it again, continuing to repeat the letter over and over. The human sat down on the floor, next to the monster, and waited for it to respond.

"Hey, can you move? I don't want to step on, or in you." The ghost-like monster opened both of his hollow eyes, sat up, and stared at the boy. The three-foot tall ghost had hair in a quiff style that perfectly melded with his purple-tinted body. "Wwhat if I don't wwanna?" The ghost retorted, making a 'hmph' noise and turning away from the boy, his 'nose' in the air. "Well, I'm gonna have to make ya. Sorry."

Here comes Eriblook. The ghost pouted, it's hollow eyes narrowing at the boy in front of him. "Hey, guy, I don't want to fight you. It's against my policy to fight cuties." He winked behind the tinted shades, his expression not changing. The ghost seemed confused, and then a bit sad. "I'd just... sloww ya dowwn..." Seemingly dejected, the ghost began to cry, it's tears the same white as those creepy 'friendliness pellets.' Those would hurt his soul.

Eriblook was a good competitor. The child dodged and ducked, weaved and bobbed, and was still grazed by those tears. They didn't hurt as much as the flower's bullets, but they stung deep in his heart, as well as the flesh that it touched. The boy did a handstand for a split second, to show off, and narrowly dodged one of the many tears that came from the blubbering ghost.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, see?" The boy forced his mouth into a smile, letting it relax naturally. "This shows how sorry I am. Hell, I'm so sorry that the word doesn't even cut it at this point. I'm all flailin' and fussin', trying to get your mercy. I'm straight-up dispondent." The ghost let out a sniffle, and continued to pout, but wiped the tears away. the boy waited for the next attack, but Eriblook didn't seem to be feeling up to it.

"Yeah, see, I'm sure we could chill in an elevator. To lift your spirits." Having told Eriblook the corniest joke he could, the human folded his arms, seemingly satisfied. "That wwas terrible..." The ghost smiled, however.  "Hey, can I, uh, showw ya somefin?" "Sure, dude." The ghost began to sniffle again, and the boy was sure he'd been duped. But when Eriblook began to cry, he simply made a cape and a wand made of tears. He waved the wand around with his small hands, and little tears came out of it, and floated around him in circles.

"I call it Scienceblook," He mumbled, with a pleased grin. "See, there's actually no magic inwolwed wwith our creation," The ghost mused in his odd accent. "It's all science! And I'll prowe it wwith the help of the royal scientist one day! But for noww.." He sighed dramatically, "I'll make do wwith science kits..."

The human repressed a grin expertly. "That's pretty cool. It looks like a little magician."  Eriblook huffed, scrunching up his translucent face. "Magic ain't real, you dumb human! Get outta my sight." He sighed. "I came to the ruins for some peace and quiet, and instead, I met someone wwho appreciates me. Incredible."

"Cool. Seeya, ghost." He turned to pass the ghost, who called out, "My name's Eriblook, by the way!" "Cool," The human called out, over his shoulder.  He continued on, through the ruins, alone once again. He allowed himself to smile at the thought of that silly little ghost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eriblook is a cutie, I'm really pleased with my portrayal of him.


	4. Puzzles.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's in pretty bad shape. He passes a band of nice spiders, passes a few puzzles, and passes the heck out.

Our little hero continued on, into the next room of the purple caverns. Instantly, the boy sneezed, wrinkling his small nose and pushing up his slipping glasses. Spider webs littered every corner and crevice of the crumbling room. The human dared run his finger along a few spider webs, finding that they were strong, and hard to break.A few spiders climbed down from the web, holding what seemed to be a doughnut, dusted in more spiders that darted around the pastry. A few of the spiders were even stuck in the frosting. The ghastly scene didn’t seem to faze the boy. All he was thinking was, _does this constitute as cannibalism?_

A sign read,  _Spider Pastries. 7 gold each. All donations go to real spiders!_

He’d accumulated a little bit of gold by simply being nice to the creatures in the underground, most of them left a little something in their wake, except for these weird gelatinous creatures that simply wiggled at him, and he would move on.

The spider seemed to give a hoarse laugh, holding the doughnut out further. “Seven gold, dear.” The boy reached into his pockets, digging around for seven of those tiny gold pieces, dropping them into the spider web. The spider scrambled around, picking up the pieces and dropping the doughnut in the web for the human.

He picked up the doughnut, breaking a bit of the web in the process. He instantly dusted it off, and thought of apologizing, but a few spiders came out and instantly began repairing the web. He picked off all the spiders from the pastry, and half the frosting in the process, before putting the doughnut in his pocket. He hoped no gold would get stuck inside of it.

The room was a dead end, so the boy backtracked, catching a glimpse of red out of the corner of his eye-

What was that? No, it was gone, never mind. Anyways, the boy headed a different way, heading upwards to a different room. Another impossibly long hallway it seemed, with croaking frogs lining one wall of it. Upon walking a few feet, the boy found that the room was not quite as endless as the other.The frog creatures were trying to get his attention, and he heard passing bits of what they were saying. He didn’t think it as important as getting to the next room and finding what lie there.

Ah, another puzzle, and more spikes. Parts of the floor were weak, as the boy soon found out. Again, he fell, getting severe déjà vu from his earlier spill, though this one wasn’t as long, nor with as soft a landing. He landed on his bad ankle, too. Zoinks. After waiting for the searing pain behind his eyes to pass, he walked back up the stairs to the previous room, and thought of just jumping the spikes. The doorway was high enough- if he got a running start, he might just make it.

“Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,” The boy took a few steps back, and began running. He would have jumped over the first set of spikes, but there was another set right behind those. Thinking of his precious shoes, he chickened out.

Back to the puzzle he went.

After falling two more times (and running into a certain Eriblook, who spotted him and disappeared), he found the right pitfall, flipping the switch and walking up the stairs, tired. He trudged to the next room, another puzzle. Why did this place need so many puzzles? His aches were getting worse.

Press the switch, press the switch, press the switch. That puzzle, aside for a few monster encounters, was very painless! He stomped down as hard as he could onto the giant switches with his good leg, the other one left to hold up his teetering body. He needed a nap.

He went on, soon running into Jane. "My child! How did you-" Her gaze seemed rather starry, as if recollecting the long list of puzzles that led to her house. All at once, her kind gaze snapped back to focus, and she lunged down to catch the swaying child just as he collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sssmolll chapter


	5. Hot darn.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's feeling a bit better, and explains a bit about his family through ironic internal dialogue. Goatmom ain't so happy with his obvious determination to get to the surface.

The boy woke up in a room that smelt like those lemon scented cleaning wipes. The bed was comfortable, and he has carefully tucked in. He rubbed his eyes- Where did his glasses go? He sat up in an instant, looking around the small bedroom. Oh, there they were, on a dresser, and neatly closed. Even the silhouette of the shades looked cool. Standing up, he found that his ankle didn't hurt so bad, and that he didn't ache as much. Leaning over, the human snatched the glasses and shoved them smoothly on his face.

He tried to ignore the fear bubbling in his stomach. The irrational feeling told him desperately that somehow, Jane had seen his eyes, and that, for some reason, she thought he was a freak for their pale red hue, a freak for his right eye uncontrollably swinging too far to the left, blurring and obscuring his vision. Of course she hadn't seen his eyes- They were closed, he'd fallen asleep right then and there from his exhaustion, and she seemed nice enough. But still, the feeling persisted.

His feet were itchy against the old carpet on the floor, and his right foot nudged something cold. Stooping down, the boy found that the 'something cold' was circular and smooth, and almost impossible to see in the dark room through tinted shades; it was impossible to see almost anything in the room now. The child looked to the left, and to the right, and quickly took off his glasses.

Ah, there was a lamp! Perfect. He swiftly made his way over to it, hopping over the circular object, and turned it on. With the room lit, he found it fit to slide his glasses back on, smiling to himself. He turned back around and found that the circle was actually a beige plate. Perched on top of the platter was a piece of pie. He couldn't identify the flavor.

He dipped his finger into the filling and took a taste. It was warm, and tasted pretty good. He instantly tasted cinnamon, with a hint of a flavor he couldn't identify. He set the plate on the dresser as he continued to explore the room.

He found his cool-looking shoes in a drawer, filled with colorful shoes of all sizes. The smallest pair were dark blue, a pair of lovely clean little ballerina shoes. The largest pair were a nice purple. The clunky, off-brand sneakers were definitely not his style, but he could see the appeal in wearing them ironically. The coolest pair was a battered pair of bright yellow cowboy boots. They even had little spurs on the end of them.

The boy put on his own shoes on, standing back up and taking his piece of pie. He wasn't going to eat it just yet- it felt special, made just for him. He'd at least express his thanks to Jane before he ate.

He slowly opened the oak door, listening to the slow, dramatic creak that emitted from it. The hallway was lit, bathed in golden light that matched the golden interior. His eyes darted to the right- Maybe goatmom was in one of these rooms? He continued down the hallway, opening the door to what he could only guess to be  Jane's room.

The completely-blue room was nicely decorated. A splash of bright color caught his attention; bright red flowers were placed on the dresser, full and fresh, not wilting in the slightest. Not seeing Jane anywhere, the boy left the bedroom and continued to the right. He glanced at the next door, finding that the room was under renovations. Guess she wasn't in there. 

Before walking back, the way he came, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror. The child had freckles, lots of them, scattered all over his face, arms, and legs. The largest one that he could see was on the tip of his nose. His hair was messy, and he smoothed it down with his hands until it was less poofy. He offered himself a smile- he'd spent some time in the Underground without dying.

Slowly, he made his way over to the left, to what looked like an extension of the hallway, but with different decorating, and stairs leading down to a different floor. The house must be huge! He continued going to the left, finding Jane sitting in a chair, reading a book, an orange cuttlefish on the cover. When he walked in, pie in hand, the motherly monster looked up, smiling kindly at the child, who waved in return.

"Uh, thanks for the pie, goat mom. It's good, just not hungry right now." Jane put a bookmark in the book, closing it shut and setting it aside. She stood up and went to the kitchen, the boy trailing behind. She pulled foil out of a cabinet, wrapped up the plate, and set it in the fridge. "You can eat the rest whenever, alright, dear?" He nodded. "Okay. Uh, so," He pointed upwards. "When do I get to go home?" 

Jane's smile faltered. "Uh, so, do you want to see what I'm reading? It's about cuttlefish, a delicacy that I get from-" The boy raised his hand. "Uh, so, like, I have a family. Probably mad worried where I am," The child went on, his eyes darting to the left. His brother and his brother's wife were probably worried, but that wasn't why he wanted to go home. He didn't really feel safe or comfortable down here. He didn't want to make friends with the monsters down here. The area wasn't as big as the wide open space he was used to. At least before he could walk to Walgreen's and get some candy.

"Excuse me, my child, but I must attend to something. Please, stay here, and do not go down the stairs, alright, love?" "Sure, hot mom." He snapped his fingers and gave a thumbs-up in quick succession. She let out a strained laugh and quickly left the room, and naturally, the little boy followed.

He descended the flight of stairs, to a stone cavern similar in color to the outside, but seemingly sanded down. It was much less rough and coarse than the outside. His steps echoed through the hallway, causing Jane to turn around, her ears perking up at the sound. "Turn back, my child." She sighed as she turned back around, taking a few more steps. He did too. "I mean it." She made her tone tougher, but a little tremor still shook her words. A few more steps.

Her shoulders slumped. "Do you want to leave so badly?" She turned her head, looking at him out of the corner of his eye. "Fine. Prove to me that you are tough enough, little one." Again, she turned to fully face him, her eyes looking mean and desperate.

"Prove to me that you can survive in the Underground," She repeated, her hands set ablaze in blue magic.


	6. Leaving the Ruins.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goat Mom's still pretty hot, but in a different way. Now, it's more like, 'Ow, ow, mom, that kind of burns my skin. Pls.'

At first, the boy was scared. Jane opened her hands, both of them engulfed in a bright blue fire, the same color as her eyes and the emblem on her long robes. She hesitated for a second, he noticed. "I'm going to shut off the Ruins from the rest of the Underground. You'd best go upstairs." The boy refused, changing his posture to reflect this; one leg in front of the other, shoulder's width apart, rooted in the ground. Jane raised her shaking hands slowly, before shooting the fiery magic at him in waves. The balls of fire darted left and right, almost as quick as their target.

He curled his small hand into a fist and cocked his arm, as reflex told him to strike back. Usually, he'd do so with a sword, but he lost that during his fall, preferring instead the branch that he thought would keep him from falling all the way down the mountain, or into hole. He'd never expected to fall into another world. The stick was lost somewhere, he didn't have it when he woke up. Jane looked at him, an unreadable expression on her face. He studied her face for a while, before dropping his arm.

This time, Jane didn't hold back. She moved forwards to hit him with her burning hands, still shooting out that red hot- er, blue hot fire. The boy heard before that blue fire was hotter than it's orange counterpart. He dodged her hands, but his arm was just barely grazed by some of the fire. Instantly, he knew that blue fire _was_ hotter than orange fire. His sensitive skin bruised and burnt almost instantly, but he refused to show how much it hurt. He bat away the flames, his fingers singed from the effort, his forearm and fingertips now covered with stinging, dull red bruises.

He forced himself to focus through the pain and the blood roaring in his ears, concentrating on his lazy eye and forcing it to swing back in place for better vision. He'd grown accustomed to this feeling, being in the middle of battle. But in the times before, he'd grown used to fighting back, slicing through the air with a half-broken sword. This time, he'd save his energy.

The two went back and forth. After every attack, Jane paused, waiting for him to fight back. And almost every time, the boy's fist would reflexively clench around a sword that wasn't there, and he'd force it to uncurl, force himself back without moving backwards. He didn't want to make it seem like he was running away. He got nicked a few more times, his thin skin burning. He'd cradle the wound with a hand, staring down Jane, who seemed to look through him with a tired glare.

The monster had remained silent at first, but now spoke up. "Why won't you fight?" Despite his pain, the boy let his mouth turn up into a smile. "You told me not to, what can I say?" He quickly dodged another round of attacks. "You must fight, now, or run away!" Despite her kind nature and accent, she sounded demanding, nearly regal. The child didn't reply, instead wincing and touching a fresh second-degree burn on the back of his hand, the skin bubbling up into a blister within the next two attacks. The other wounds had almost instantly been cauterized by the fire, which didn't die down so quickly.  Why not this one?

The boy hastily re-applied a band-aid from a day old cut from his knee to his hand, trying to cover up the pustule. He didn't expect it to burst, causing him much more pain. "Ah!" Finally, he showed a bit of the pain he'd been keeping to himself, in the form of a short yelp. In reality, he wanted to scream. He tugged the band-aid away, tearing off some skin, and shoved it in his pocket, not wanting to throw the disgusting thing on the floor. Tears welled up behind his pale eyes, and he tipped his head back, not wanting _anyone_ to see his tears.

 His vision was even more blurred than normal with pain. He flailed and spun wildly, managing to avoid another attack, or so he thought. In reality, Jane was aiming her shots away from him, unable to stand the sight of the human in pain. The child managed to focus again, seeing past the pain, listening to the sound of his soul. It urged him on, a peculiar emotion coursing through his body.

"I know you really want to leave, to go home, but," She raised her arm for another rigged attack, aiming her shots away from the pained child, who was now clutching his slightly maimed hand in the other. "You'd get hurt even worse out there. If you'll just stay with me, I can protect you..." She faltered as she noticed him shake his head. "Mom, look." He moved his hand away from the injured one. "Shoot an attack at me. Go, do it."

Tentatively, Jane shot more fire directly at him, and the boy dodged to the left. "As long as I can do that, I'll be fine, right? Not everyone's gonna be as strong as you." The monster didn't know what to say. "Child, you..." She exhaled, as if about to make a big decision. "You're very strong, and very good at dodging. I understand if you do not want to be down here with me anymore,"  He looked away from her sad, smiling face, feeling a bit guilty. "Stay right here, please do not leave just yet."

The boy stood their alone, huffing out breaths as he put his hand on the door. The emblem looked similar to that on Jane's robes, and the door was extremely cold. He'd wait for her to return.

Within the span of five minutes, she did, with a roll of gauze and a bottle full of a red liquid that the boy didn't recognize. "It's rather old," She apologized quietly, shaking the red-tinted bottle. The label was faded, and it had been in English. She opened the bottle and stooped down, taking his cold, tiny hand in her larger one. She applied the red solution from the bottle on the burns that covered his arms and hands. He even had a large one on his left cheek that extended down to cover his chin.

The solution stung and left his burns and skin rather red. She applied the gauze to the busted blister first, not talking. The boy felt uncomfortable, and a bit guilty. "When you leave, don't come back," Jane interjected suddenly, before softening her tone to her normal, sweet voice, tinged with sadness. "I'm sure you understand, you're not the first child to have fallen down here." He could only nod.

When she finished treating his wounds, she stood up, and then stooped down again and enveloped him in a hug. The child couldn't remember being hugged like this for a long time. It reminded him of when he was picked up as a toddler, looking into the purple eyes of what he could only assume to be his brother's girlfriend. It was odd. In his memories, the girl looked so happy, fresh, and young, much more young than 'Mom,' his ironic title for the old gal. He hugged back.

They both parted, the monster retreating to her house and tears, and the child facing ahead, opening the stone door and walking through, to another long, long hallway. His slow steps echoed, the air becoming colder and colder, making him wish he had a jacket. The end of the walkway was in sight, and a gust of cold air blew in his face. He broke into a sprint, passing through a doorway into another dark room.

He took deep breaths, truly alone now, or so he thought. In front of him was another patch of grass, the only green to be found since his first encounter with that horrible flower. He continued to walk ahead, until those familiar bright red petals popped out of the patch of green, a dull emerald face coyly smiling up at him. 

"You think you're _so clever._ "


	7. "Why is it so cold they shouldn't even have weather systems" - Fallen Human, 2k1x.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp is cold i have to go to class and the boy almost gets hypothermia time to skedaddle

"You think you're really smart, don't you," The flower mused, in it's harsh, brash tone. "In this world- haven't I told you?- It's KILL or BE KILLED," it spat out in it's harsh tone, petals shaking with laughter. "You were able to bend the rules, weren't you? You were able to spare her. Pah!" The boy put his hands in his pockets and looked up at the ceiling. He wasn't taking this flower's crap.

"I bet you feel really great, don't you?" Caliborn's smile grew wider. "You didn't even consider killing her this time, did you?" Despite his best attempts to ignore the aggravating plant, the child shook his head. "So, what will you do if you meet a _relentless killer,_ hm? Oh, that's right, you'll die. And you'll die again and again!! And then, you'll get tired of trying..." The flower faded out into more laughter, deliberately trying to irritate the boy into doing something he'd regret.

"Will you kill out of frustration?" For a moment, it's voice was sweet. Then, it turned harsh, and it's face morphed into a menacing smile. The boy swore he saw fangs. "Will you kill _me_ out of frustration? Or will you simply give up and die? Will you let  _me_ inherit your Time powers, human? Oh, trust me. I know I am the Lord of this world's future. The muse of it's past is gone," it added, confusing the boy and stunning him to silence.

"Oh, don't fret, my Knight, my plan isn't regicide..." The flower broke out into another earsplitting cackle, "Oh, who am I kidding? Of course it is! And so much more. Just wait,"  it promised, before disappearing back underneath the Underground.

The boy started to walk away. That was best, right? Just walk away, and ignore that crazy flower. He balled his fists and shut his eyes, focusing on reaching the end of the purple hallways. The air became colder. Updrafts soared in every direction, becoming downdrafts, leftdrafts and rightdrafts. It was so chilly, and he wished he had a coat, or at least a jacket.

Finally, the color behind his thin eyelids wasn't pitch black, but more of a light orange, as if he'd reached sunlight, and he opened his eyes to find himself in a beautiful winter wonderland. The glare wasn't harsh, and the trees stretched up towards the 'ceiling' of the Underground's dark caverns. The cave was so huge that it had it's own weather system, blizzards mixing with rain somewhere up above, the cold results stinging the child's delicate face. Light came from somewhere up above, maybe some cracks in the sides of the mountain that let sunlight through.

He continued to walk along the frigid pathway. A small bit of snow had been shoveled to the side to make a trail, but when he sank his foot into the path, the snow covered his foot, all the way up to his ankle. He took giant steps, wading in the snow as he continued on his way. Each step took effort, and he huffed, fingers, toes, feet, hands, arms, and legs all numb. The back of his hand stung as he continued to move. Ow. Everything hurt, and what was that noise? It sounded like something shattering.

He jumped over a stick and almost landed face-first in another pile of fresh snow. "Argh." He was getting a little frustrated, and continued until he reached a blocked off bridge. The boy jumped on the wood, stomping until he got most of the snow off his cool sneakers. This was _so_ not cool. He was so cold that his skin began to feel uncomfortably warm. Isn't this what hypothermia felt like? He tried to shake the feeling away, to focus.  It seemed as if he could just slip through the bars on this bridge-

" **Human.** " A chilling voice whispered behind him, the sound almost lost in the raging winds. He stopped moving, clenching his fists. He didn't know if he could take a monster in this cold. " **Don't you know how to greet a new pal** **?** " The feminine voice intoned, laced with the sound of laughter. " **Turn around and shake my hand.** " Welp, if he was going to die, he'd get it over with quickly. The child turned around, and thrust his hand into the shadowed and chilled hand of the stranger.

Instantly, he was hit with an electric sting. His smoothed-down hair stood up on end, and he began to smell like burnt hairs. "Eep-" He made a small, strangled noise, and pulled his hand back as the skeleton in front of him chuckled with amusement. "Ah, the buzzer in the hand trick. It works every time! Hahahaha!" The monster cackled, wiping an imaginary tear and facing the boy.

"I'm Aradia. Aradia the Skeleton. You can call me Aradia." She bowed, making a sweeping motion with one skeletal hand, little fingers waving. She was short and stout, like the little teapot, and quite literally big-boned. "So, you're a human, huh? That's so hilarious." She cackled again, laughing not with malice, but with glee. "Look, I've got a team member, and he's always wanted to see a human!" The boy nodded, still numbed by the shock. "Uh-huh." "So, do you think you could let him, you know, get a glimpse of you? He'd appreciate it, and so would I." "Uh... uh-huh."

"Thanks! Here, pass through this bridge." Aradia took the kid by the hand and led him through the spaced-out bars on the wooden bridge. "Behind this," She pointed to a rather conveniently-shaped lamp. It was shaped almost exactly like the little kid! He slipped behind it, like the ninja he was, just as the crunching of wheels was heard arriving at the scene.

"Hey, uh, Aradia, I'm not, trying to be rude, or, or anything, but, you still haven't, really, recalibrated your puzzles..." The taller skeleton trailed off. He was truly a sight; one of the bones on his leg had snapped clean in two. It was bound together with clear tape, and he was in a wheelchair. The armrests were covered in snow. "Don't worry about it, Tavros." Aradia waved a hand and smiled sweetly. "I'll do it later." "How soon is later, just, you know, checking," He mumbled his reply, brushing the snow off his chair with a long, rather bony hand. 

"Tomorrow. I promise." "We don't really have days down here," Tavros complained. "Well, I have a ton of puzzles to do, you know. A  _skele-ton._ " "Argh!" More crunching was heard, as if the skeleton were rolling back and forth. "I'm done with, with you, Aradia." "You're smiling," The shorter skeleton singsonged, spinning in a quick circle. "I know, uh, I kind of hate it though. Anyways, I'm gonna go, try and catch a human, okay? Team Charge for the win!" 

"Well, if it's a human you're after, this lamp may come in handy." "Why? How? I don't need more of your, uh, pun-bait, Aradia, I'm being serious! Gosh," The rolling sounds and the snow crunching underneath got farther away. "It's safe to come out now," Aradia whispered in that raspy tone of hers. The child ducked from behind the lamp, rubbing his hands together to keep his fingers from figuratively falling off. Or literally. It must have been absolute zero out.

"You're doing great, kid!" The monster clapped her hands together, and put the hood of her red outfit up. There was a little gear on the pocket of her hoodie. It looked familiar. "Just let him see you, alright? Yeah, he may get a bit excited and try and take you hostage or something, but he's genuinely nice. So don't hurt him," She warned with a grin. One of her eyes flickered. Oddly enough, she had pupils, little white dots that swished around her eyes quickly as she observed her surroundings. The pupil seemed to snuff out, and then fade back in, like a light. "Alright. So, I'll just go ahead then, right?" "Right! I'll see you when I see you, kiddo. Oh, and if you get frostbite, I'm not being held accountable."

"Jeez, okay." The child walked away from the weird skeleton, shivering. The snow lessened, but little flurries still flicked this way and that, landing on his shoulders and in his hair. He passed a checkpoint station. Two monsters were hitting a sign on the poorly-crafted station with snowballs and chatting. One looked like a small, teen snowman with a rotating carrot nose, tired eyes, and a glorious ice-covered hat. Next to that character was a creature that looked like a snowflake with limbs, eyes, and a beak. They were chatting it up, almost arguing, it seemed. Hat One pointed an angry, nubby hand at Snowflake.

"Oh, cool, teens. Hey, can I chill with you guys?" The one with the hat laughed. "See, Snowy, this kid's actually funny. He made the joke incognito. Why can't you be funny? I'm out of here." The ice hat one swaggered away, chuckling. "Aw, come on. Be cool, Ice Cap!" "Jeez, sorry about your weird... friend? Hey, that joke wasn't so bad." "See? Hey, Ice Cap, he thought it was cool!" Snowy chased after Ice Cap, laughing. They left some money behind.

The boy leaned down and scooped up the coins. They were almost lodged into the snow, and he picked the frozen change out and put it in his pocket. "Nice." Looking at the checkpoint station, he read the sign on it. It was written in bIG HANDWRITING, tHAT STARTED OUT SMALL, wITH A LOT OF COMMAS, aND TOLD ABOUT THE GREATNESS OF THE GREAT TAVROS NITRAM, wHO WOULD THOROUGHLY CAPTURE THE HUMAN. Did this skeleton know anything about punctuation? Well, it was cool. In some twisted ironic way.

He continued to the next checkpoint station he saw, a better crafted one for sure, with a little dog carved on the roof. Why were so many sentry stations near each other? They really needed to space out and plan shifts or something.  An actual dog rose from inside the checkpoint, fur white and glowing green, shifty and wide eyes darting from left to right. "What moved? Move? Move? What??" The child came to a halt, one leg halfway raised and the other wiggling wildly to support his weight. He fell down, and the dog sprang up. "Something just moved! I can only see moving things! What moved?" He brandished a blue sword. As the boy looked closely, he saw it was made of magic. it glimmered, but it wasn't the exact same blue as his Jane's attacks. It was a dimmer blue-green.

The creature threw the sword at the child, who froze in fear. The sword passed right through him. "Huh-?" "Nothing... Moved? Okay..." Doggo's guard was down. His ears flopped, and his eyes drooped, as if he was just a normal human dog, like on the surface. The human had wanted a dog for so long. It wasn't fair. His pen pal had a dog, but no. His family just had a dead cat! He moved forwards to pet Doggo, who instantly snapped back to his alert state. The dog was warm and fluffy, just like an actual puppy. How cute. "I've been pet?" The boy froze up again. "By something that isn't there?? Pet? Pot? Put? Pat? Pit? And sometimes pyt? I'm gonna need some dog treats for this..." The pooch sank back to the confines of his checkpoint, whimpering.

He left behind some money too. Maybe it was to thank the invisible petter? The human was more than glad to swipe it up. He walked on, teeth chattering, until he ran into a familiar face. "Hey, you know those weird turquoise attacks, right?" Oh no, Aradia was going to brief him on those. "Too little too late, Ara." "Oh. Nice, kid. Real nice. But if you ever forget, just think of a blue-green stop-sign, okay?" That wouldn't help at all. "Thanks, Ara." 

He continued walking, sliding on a slippery patch of ice. He changed direction quickly, sliding upwards and falling on his face when his foot met snow. Everything was so cold, he was going to die. He knew it. There was no way a human could survive down here without a jacket or something. Oh, look, another snowman. This one was an actual snowman, though. "Hey, you..." The snowman called out and the boy stood up, dusting the snow off himself. "Gravity still works, guys. Just checking." "I've always wanted to visit the world. Can you take a piece of me with you? So I can see the world?" It was so chilled, the boy was sure that the snowman piece wouldn't melt anytime soon. "Sure. For you, dude." He took a small piece of the snowman, held it in his hand for a second, and put it in his free pocket. 

He slid back down on the ice and twisted to his left. This time, he didn't fall on his face. A man was selling ice cream up ahead, but the boy didn't have enough money. It was too cold for ice cream, anyways. To tempt him, the man lowered the price. He coughed up the money and took a lick of the ice cream. It was vanilla, and the wrapper had a picture of a hug on it. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy, or maybe that was the looming hypothermia. He just prayed he wouldn't die before that lame skeleton got to see him. It might take the fun out of everything if he saw a dead human, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY SCHOOL DOESNT BLOCK AO3 HOLLERLUJAH


	8. Hypo-termites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave gets sick. Aradia makes jokes. Everything's awful for the kid. Man I wrote so much these past few months!

The child was so cold that his hands were turning red, and then purple, and then blue. He'd lost all feeling in every single part of his body. He didn't know how long he could last. He skipped what appeared to be a take on mini-golf made of snow for favor of rubbing his hands together and shivering.  Occasionally, he saw Aradia as well, but the feminine skeleton made no attempt to help the boy's relentless shaking. She didn't even call out.

He continued to walk. The snow had stopped, finally, but the wind still whipped around angrily, eliciting tears from the child's eyes. Their pale, thin lips took on a strange, brittle look, cracking in several different places from the cold. He nearly passed a plate of pancakes, and his eyes instantly affixed to it. Food, oh thank goodness. Sure, they still had that Spider Donut, but come on. It had spiders on it, and probably pieces of gold wedged in there, too. He wasn't that desperate yet.

And now, there was a plate of glorious breakfast confectionery, the slightest sliver of light in the child's now bleak, dark world. A fork perched perfectly on top of the plate, like a flag atop a fortress. A note sat beside it, clearly stating that the pancakes wERE, uH, a PERFECTLY PLANNED TRAP. tO ENTICE ANY FALLEN HUMANS };). He didn't care. He just wanted _something_ to eat that was normal and not covered with arachnids.

He moved to pick up the fork. It was stuck. No matter, he didn't have any shame. He'd eat with his hands if he had to. But no. The pancakes... The pancakes were stuck together, and stuck to the table. He was so close to getting actual food, but oh so far. It wasn't fair. He never had enough to eat at  home, only soggy, two-day old instant noodles. And now, when actual, nice food sat in front of him, he couldn't have it. It would make him cry, if those stinging tears weren't already frozen to his face, sealing his tear ducts.

He forced himself to move on from the tantalizing plate, to the next few puzzles. Easy, easy, easy.  All he had to do was brush the snow from a panel using his already frostbitten hands. He really did wish he had some gloves or at least long sleeves. Luckily, he was so cold now that he couldn't feel the cold, only a lovely pleasant warmth from somewhere inside. 

The child breathed into his hands, but even his breath was chilled. Another simple puzzle. He stumbled onto the X's, turned them into green O's. He didn't even realize what he did, he was so dazed. Everything began to blur together in a lovely, calming grey haze. There wasn't wind, no color. He couldn't even hear the voice, yelling at him from his side. He barely felt the hand catching him as he toppled over. He didn't know that he was propped up on a skeleton's lap and transported via wheelchair, or that the taller skeleton was whining and complaining the entire time about how he'd have to wait to test the human with puzzles.

The only thing that he knew is that he woke up in a bed, with warm, light green sheets. The kid was in a bed made to look like it had wings.  His arms and legs were a bit stiff, and he was still shivering. It helped, but he couldn't stop the motion that wracked his small frame, despite his attempts to stop. He was still cold, and curled up under the covers as much as he could. He flipped up the hood of his hoodie- Wait.. .

This was that skeleton girl's hoodie. He pulled the drawstrings on it until it closed around his face, still shivering. He sat up, drawing the covers around him like a curtain. It was pretty warm, and smelt like... a quiche. But... a bit less eggy, more sugary, citrus-y, perhaps. But of course, the little boy didn't know what a quiche is, and his brain instantly when to the thought of pie. He took a few deep breaths, only to find that his nose was stuffier than originally thought. As if on cue, he sneezed.

Great. Not only was he shivering, half-baked, and half-frozen, he had contracted... Something. Something that made him feel awful. "Knock knock!" That excitable voice came from the other side of the door. Before the boy could say anything, the door opened and the short skeleton strode in, with a similar hoodie adorning her frame.

"Like the outfit we got you? My partner ironed it and washed it and all. It was nice and warm, right out of the dryer. But still," Aradia tapped a stubby finger against her round skull as she spoke, "You shiver? How strange humans are!" She exclaimed this last part, the odd shape of her face stretching out more, as if she were smiling. "Don't die just yet, though. My friend has yet to test a human's strength, human dexterity. He can't do that if you keel over, now can he?"

If it wasn't such a big display of emotion, the kid would have rolled his eyes. His glasses, he just now realized, were removed from his face. And he'd had his eyes open! Quickly, he closed them and lay back down, pretending to fall asleep. There was a squeaking noise, and then a sort of settling one as Aradia lowered herself onto the frail bed. "He's been worried, you know. Despite the fact that he's hellbent on catching a human." She peered down at the kid.

"Why are you pretending to sleep? Don't you want to get up, see what you can do?" There was a repetitive squeaking noise, as if she were bouncing up and down excitedly. "Don't you want to meet my partner? I'm not gonna lie, he's pretty dope," She added, as if to sweeten the deal. The boy exhaled, so silent for a second that the skeleton truly thought he was asleep, but then he reached a shaking hand to his face, covering it and sighing. "Could you hand me my glasses?" He held his other hand out. 

Something was placed in it. He slid the glasses neatly onto his face, eliciting loud laughter from Aradia. It was a pair of those stupid disguise glasses, complete with the nose and mustache. His eyes were wide open, and he quickly stood up, stumbling and sneezing loudly, taking off the ridiculous goggles and running out of the room. "They're in the living room, next to my pet. You can keep the hoodie," The skeleton called out, still chuckling. There was a sort of shaking sound, too. The gal was literally rattling her bones in laughter.

No one else really minded his eyes down here. They were just eyes, after all. So what if they were red, or blue, or rainbow? Aradia certainly didn't mind. One could say that she had a red eye herself. Still, it was entertaining to poke fun at the child. Before the child even got to the bottom of the stairs, she was there. "So, I guess you could say... you've got pink eye, huh?" The shades were halfway to the child's face, but he wrinkled his nose. "Was that supposed to be a joke?" 

"Aw, come on, kid. I mean, technically we've got you hostage here. The least you could do is lighten up." As if ignoring her, the boy read the note next to the rock on the end table he'd retrieved his glasses from.

_aRADIA, yOU FORGOT TO FEED YOUR ROCK AGAIN, bUT, i'VE GOT YOU COVERED }:)_

The rock, note, end table, and floor around the area were all coated in blue, pink, and white sprinkles.

He really didn't want to go along with any plan that involved this dork, but what else could he do? He didn't know how to get back up, and he needed to ask around. Maybe the other skeleton would be more open to giving out information. "Do you think you're warm enough to go outside now?" The skeleton tapped her foot against the floor. Her slipper made a thumping noise on the ground. "Huh?" He held up both of his shaking hands. "I don' feel too bad. Just, you know. Sick." 

"Fair enough. Hey, your nose is running. Go catch it!" Again, she broke out into cackles. "You've got to go out there sometime, you know. My partner's waiting to test you. I'll lead you there, if you want," She offered, "And I'll take you back if you feel like dying!" She laughed louder at that, as if dying was the funniest thing in the world. "Also, please make sure he has a good time, alright? If not, yours may be less than optimal." 

This was going to be a long, cold day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really late im so sorry argh


	9. Dog Statues and Snow Poffs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The human sees the skele. There's dogs. And snow poffs. And snow triangles.

Shortcuts were the worst. Imagine going through a wind tunnel made to circulate at fifty miles an hour. Hot winds and cold snow mixed into rain, and it felt like a tornado. The child had to endure while listening to that skeleton laugh and giggle as if his pain was the funniest thing in the world. "Wheee!!"

"Whee," The boy muttered as he finally touched ground. He'd never take another wind tunnel... shortcut ever again in his life. When he turned around, Aradia was gone, and he heard he familiar, steady crunching of snow of wheels approaching.

"It's, it's the human! Human, you've been, uh, where have you been actually? My partner said you'd be, coming through, but you're so late! God, anyways, uh, since you're so late, I had time to, to rearrange my puzzle into, the shape of, my face! See, it looks like, my face, so. Yeah!" It didn't look like his face, not at all. It looked like a misshapen lump.

"Nice, princess. So, how does this go? Do I flip out some sick moves on these X's?" He couldn't help his irony, this skeleton would be too fun to pick on. 

"Sick.... moves? Are you, uh, sick, human? Do you require, uh. Mercurochrome? Or antibiotics?" Mercurochrome? It's 201X, baby. It's all about the antiseptics. 

"Yeah man, I'm straight illin'. You hear?" The skeleton looked about as confused as a skeleton could. 

"I, uh, I do hear? And again, human, I will have to ask if you need rest! A sick human is, is foul play! I simply cannot capture a human, that's, that has such a handicap to their condition!" How ironic. 

Tavros' stutter after a while stopped being annoying and started making the human smile a bit. It was a smile disguised as a smirk. "You may not be hearin'. Could just be a figment of your imagination, making all sorts of ooo's and aaa's that fade in the wind, converting to sound in your ducts." Do skeletons have earducts? 

"Human, you're, you're being very confusing, so, so I'm going to have to ask you to do the puzzle, and, preferably not talk to me until I capture you." 

Trying not to laugh, the human tried to solve the puzzle. It took a few attempts. After the first failed attempt, the really lame monster that the boy had somehow found himself humoring (hah, humerus) laughed with glee. 

"I, I have japed the human! See, I told Aradia I could do it! Thwarted!!" While he was boasting and raising his thin arms in the air, the boy had managed to solve the puzzle. 

"Nailed it." 

With a huff, the skeleton rolled ahead to meet the human at a later date. Thankful for the peace and quiet it allowed him, the boy continued onward. The wind picked up, and again he began rubbing his hands together, feeling that horrible cold creep back. He sneezed twice. Was all of the underground this unbearable? 

Well, no, it wasn't. The Ruins were pleasantly dry and room temperature. He longed for that again, instead of this cold and these two really annoying skeletons. Well, Aradia wasn't that bad. Just a bit too lighthearted, as if nothing was her problem. And Tavros, well, he was just a bit uncool, unknowing of what was happening. The human bet that he didn't even know what a "meme" was. Maybe he'd ask, just to get on the skeleton's nonexistent nerves. 

"This, this puzzle is sure to jape you! It was, uh, it was invented by the great Dr.Aranea, and, it's stumped even me before! This, this puzzle is, is, is randomized, right? So, if, if there is a red tile, you, you can't walk over that. If it's yellow, it's electric! It will give you, a, a zap, so don't walk on them! Green tiles, those are alarm tiles. They mean you, you have to, to fight a monster! Orange tiles are, orange scented. You'll smell, pretty good, I think, but if you step on a blue tile, a water tile, after stepping on an orange one, the piranhas, they'll bite you!" Wait, what? When did piranhas get involved?? 

"If a blue and yellow tile, are, adjacent, the water will also zap you! Be careful! Purple tiles..." He seemed to tense, as if purple had bad connotations with it, "Are slippery! They, uh, let you slide to the next tile. The slippery soap, it, it smells like lemons, which the fish don't like! Purple, and blue, those are, uh, pretty good together! Pink tiles... do nothing. Step on 'em!!" The human didn't trust that.

"Oh, this puzzle, is, is also randomly generated, so, I can't help you if you don't know what to do!" Oh, great. 

So, the puzzle box, which was oddly E-shaped, was flipped. A puzzle was randomly generated. A red-and-pink mix. Easily passable. He walked across the pink tiles, expecting like a bear trap or sinkhole to cut off his leg or murder him, but he was fine. Tavros rolled backwards, huffing dramatically. 

Dog statues. There were so many dog statues, yet the boy had only seen one dog. Another dog sat there, staring at a lump of snow with a very intense gaze, as if looking at the snow would create a beautiful dog statue like the ones before the human. It was pretty pathetic. Stooping down, the boy took a fistful of snow and molded into the shape of a triangle. 

He made another snow-triangle, and placed the two shapes atop the lump of snow. It wasn't as beautiful as the dog statues already created, but it was a start. And he would have sat there making snow statues with the staring dog if it weren't for the shorter skeleton scaring the living daylights out of him by touching his back.

He got into a fight stance far too quickly, jumping back and reaching a hand out to bat whatever weirdo tapped him instead of calling him to get his attention, his tense fear quickly turning into fuel for his sick moves. Too bad he didn't have a sword. 

Aradia was lighter on her feet than the child was made to believe, as she ducked below his hand and caught it. "Jeez, jeez. It's just me! This is a checkpoint station, so, I'm allowed to be here. Don't get too caught up having fun in the snow. Don't want you to freeze again!" Still with that singsong tone in her voice. "Move forwards, brave knight!" 

Those words seemed to fuel him further, filling him with a determined feeling as he stood, stomping the snow from his cool shoes, petting the dog, and running away from the station, but most importantly, the skeleton. 

Somehow, he remembered the feeling of being called a knight. He didn't know who called him that, but the voice was feminine, much like Aradia's. But prim. Proper. Precise, with no hint of a giggle. She must have been a serious lady.

His foot slid and he fell backwards, into the unforgiving snow. Oh, great! More ice. This seemed like another puzzle involving X's and O's. Of course he knew how to do them. But somehow, he twisted the wrong way on the ice and fell. He didn't fall on the ice, he fell off the ice and below. 

For a second, the child was terrified. He couldn't feel anything except for the unparalleled sensation of falling. But the fall wasn't that long, and he fell on a lump of snow.

The lump was obviously someone's attempt at a snowman, seeing as a much better one was made right beside it. The child couldn't tell if the snowman  _was_ a great creation, like the other one, and he'd crushed it, or if it was always a lump. 

Closer examination proved the latter to be true. The lump had words written on it, but now they were disfigured. The boy could barely make out: A....DI...

The handwriting was small and reminiscent of the same font you'd see in most classrooms across the world. So that was Aradia's "snowman." So the other one was Tavros'. It looked like him, so maybe he was some great snowman crafter. Sounds like a lucrative business. 

Returning the way he came, the human redid the puzzle. Again, he fell, but it wasn't his fault this time. It was because a dog ran out of nowhere and stopped him! He fell down again, and so did the dog. 

You know, dogs are light and fluffy, and the human normally wouldn't mind one landing gently in his lap after a fall, even if the puppy was snow-covered. But this dog had a suit of armor, and that hurt. Not to mention that this dog was about the same size as the kid. 

"Ouch. Okay boy, I'm gonna need you to get up." The dog was a relentless guardsman, obviously. You could see it in the way it barked excitedly and hopped off of the human, looking up at him expectantly.

Giving in, the boy pet the puppy and smiled. Huh, he seemed a little taller now. Maybe because he was standing on his hind legs? Wasn't he doing that before? Oh well, it was nothing to be concerned about. The human tried the puzzle again.

Turning in circles on ice without ice skates is really difficult, but he managed. 

Voila!! The puzzle finished, and something scraped, against something else, creating a loud noise and a vibrating sensation under the boy's feet. He danced precariously close to the edge of the platform yet again, before changing direction and skating towards the source of the noise; A newly formed bridge that connected this part of Snowdin with the rest of the cold area. What was with the underground and puzzles?

The boy ran across the bridge, vines and twigs hitting against his pale face and slapping against his arms as he ran. He accumulated quite a bit of snow on his head as he emerged from the other side. Pulling the hoodie closer to his body so that no snow would fall down the front or back, he shook his blonde hair free of the clumps of ice and crystallized water. After that, he flipped up the hood. He traced the gear symbol on the pocket before trudging ahead, met with... two.. seven... Nine snow poffs.

He walked around all of them. Hm.. Is that really a snow poff? Surprisingly, there's a snow poff. Sarcastic sentences like these played in the boy's head, but oddly enough, not in his voice. The tone was much more snarky than what he could muster, and it reminded him of the voice that had called him a knight. Not Aradia's, but... The other one. The one in the past. 

He found money inside one of the snow poffs.

And in another one, he found a dog, and the largest suit of armor he'd ever seen. Based on his prior experiences with dogs and this snowy area of the underground, the human knew he was in for a treat. 


End file.
